Dirty Vodka Martini...Shakespeared, not stirred.

Today we are joined by my two Shakespeare gurus, Lisa Ann Goldsmith and Owen Thompson, who also host the INCREDIBLE podcast, The Bardcast, It's Shakespeare, You Dick! We talk about all the things we got from Shakespeare, all of the hidden meanings and innuendos that they don't teach you in school, and much more! 

Cocktail: Richards Gimme-Let (Richard VI themed cocktail so name for Richards power grabbing)

2oz Gin

1oz fresh lime juice

Very thin crosswise slice of habanero pepper for a garnish.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:15

Welcome back to another episode of Making a Martini Up, Dry, and Straight to the Point. I am your host, Caleb Figgles. Today we are going to take a walk on the sophisticated side of life and talk about everyone's favorite Bard, your friend and mine, William Shakespeare. The theme drink for this episode is called A Richard Gimme Let, named after Richard III for being so power-hungry and possessive. Hence the gimme part. If you're playing at home, it is two ounces of gin, a half ounce of simple syrup, one ounce lime juice, and a habanero pepper slice. Right now, there is a podcast out there in the world wherever you get your podcast called The Bardcast. It's Shakespeare, you dick. It's really hard to say that without some sort of accent. It features a very dear friend of mine, Lisa Ann Goldsmith, and Owen Thompson. You guys, uh they are hilarious. Uh here is a quick snippet. Take a listen.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

But it's not just in the histories either. Um in Venus and Adonis, one of Shakespeare's poems, and that's not even it's completely out in the open, right? So Adonis is a young man, Venus is an older woman, and she is telling him what she wants, and she says, Grays on my lips. And if those hills be dry, stray lower where the pleasant fountains lie.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

And while you're down there.

SPEAKER_00 1:49

And while you're down there. He's uh, you know, telling her young squire how to pleasure her.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Absolutely. Okay, there you have it. Uh so this podcast is not just for people who love Shakespeare. It could be for uh people who have never even uh heard of him. Um I promise you will laugh out loud that you might fucking learn something. So we're gonna be focusing on their first episode, which is what that um clip was from, called Filthy Shakespeare, where they break down a huge chunk of vulgarity and innuendo in Shakespeare's plays. So if you're in the mood for some classical dick jokes, then just fucking stay tuned. Yeah, but it'll be fun. And so then eventually I just say, um, hello you guys. Welcome.

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Hi.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

Hey, thanks for being here.

SPEAKER_00 3:05

Thanks for having us, thanks for having us, of course.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

Um so I was uh thinking, I went back to just be like how long I have known Lisa Ann, and it has been 10 years.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

I know.

SPEAKER_03 3:18

And actually a little bit more than 10 years because you came that summer uh and did the workshop when I was doing Bat Boy. So a little over ten years.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

That's that's more than I don't want to I don't want to say how long Lisa Ann and I have known each other.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

We've known each other since before there were indoor toilets.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

Yeah, I what I I think that uh Lisa Ann's social security card number is zero and mine is negative one.

SPEAKER_03 3:55

So it's been a minute, you guys. Um and oh and I just met uh a couple months ago, two months ago. On Zoom, yes on Zoom, yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

Caleb, you've been you've been kind enough to join us on our Shakespeare Sundays that Lisa Ann and I have been doing for the last few months to keep from going completely insane.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

True. And it helps like Skype and Zoom are like the new thing for 2020.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

It is. I mean thank you thank God for it, but also fuck it at the same time. Right. I mean, I and I mean both of those things. I'm I'm incredibly grateful for Skype and Zoom, and I and the silver lining is that we can do these these readings where we have people from different states, and that's great, but I'm really tired of pe seeing people in these little fucking right rectangles.

SPEAKER_03 4:46

It's true.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

It's not anyone's best angle.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

It has made me want to do those productions with those people. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

Remember those? I vaguely remember a thing called theater.

SPEAKER_03 5:04

It was a thing, it happened. It'll happen again. From y'all.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

Just try.

SPEAKER_03 5:11

Yeah. Try to keep us down. Oh my gosh. But yeah, it's uh we've done Winter's Tale and Midsummer Night Stream. So far, me with you guys. You guys have done a lot. Remember, you gave me the list, yeah. We've done 10 already.

SPEAKER_02 5:27

Yeah. So we're like coming up on a third of the canon.

SPEAKER_03 5:31

That's awesome. I I do have to say it is the best way to feel really sophisticated on a Sunday. So just read a little Shakespeare. Depending on what you do the night before, it can be very helpful. Usually it's recording one of these podcasts and like three or four martinis happen, and I need to feel good about myself.

SPEAKER_02 5:51

That would be, you know, that would be a new wrinkle if we I mean, obviously, there's drunk Shakespeare already, but if we insisted that everybody drink while doing it, or what if we did hungover Shakespeare?

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Or any other kind of substance, Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

Right, exactly. Pick your poison.

SPEAKER_00 6:07

Now we're into entering my territory.

SPEAKER_03 6:11

Altered attitude, Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

That's it. Altered Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_03 6:15

Altered Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Hey, that should be a podcast topic. We can talk about that tomorrow.

SPEAKER_03 6:20

Yeah, there you go. Shit. People helping people.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

We got to option through the end of next year.

SPEAKER_03 6:28

Right? That is, I would say the hardest part about this is I I I have like my big list of things that I want to talk about, and I'm I've it's been sort of a lot of mix and match and trying to figure out the best flow so that I don't bring in something that completely comes out of left field, which it's gonna happen, but in my mind I would like it to just kind of work out, yeah. But I think eventually I'm not gonna want to be that organized and just start going.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

But that's kind of what's happening. That's happening to us.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

It's totally what's happened to us.

SPEAKER_03 7:01

But I mean, it you know what? I mean, your guys' podcast, it it the flow of it, because I went through and just did a whole binge of all the episodes that have been released. And I don't know if it's just because listening to your guys' voices on it is I've been used to hearing it as they've come out and then just doing it in one fail swoop. It was just very much um it was easy. It was very easy to listen to. Um, so it really yours does really, really flow. So well, thanks.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

Well, one fell swoop was a phrase invented by Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

That's right. Well, sh I've never heard of a better segue. Because uh the first thing I really wanted to talk about was all of the things that we've gotten from Shakespeare. Um, because in doing my research, I mean, and I really went through and picked, I mean, there was so much to choose from. I had to like really narrow down what I wanted to kind of talk about, um, because I just picked things of mine that were my favorite. But there's so much. There's so much that we got just from his writings, from from like character types to slang to I mean, it's all over the board. There's so much.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

Oh, yeah. I mean, there's there's hundreds, if not thousands, of words that are that you know, it's hard. I mean, people will make the claim that Shakespeare actually invented them, but and and that's that's kind of unprovable, but it's definitely true that there are all of these words that we know appear in the works of Shakespeare for the very, very first time. The word crocodile, for instance, doesn't appear in the uh anywhere recorded uh before Antony and Cleopatra. It is Antony and Cleopatra, is it not?

SPEAKER_00 8:39

It is, and neither does the word puking.

SPEAKER_02 8:42

That's right. Muelling and puking in the nurse's arms.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 8:46

Yeah. Also, if your name happens to be Jessica, Olivia, or Miranda, Shakespeare invented your name.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Right.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

That's crazy. Yeah, he invented a lot of names, but there aren't a whole lot of people named Perdida. Or but but Olivia, Jessica, and Miranda are obviously very popular names, and they're all complete inventions by Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_03 9:10

That's crazy. Um yeah, I mean, just uh when I was going through, and the episode that I did before this was a Harry Potter-themed episode. And it just so happened that um Harry Potter is one of the things that we really got from Shakespeare. J.K. Rowling was so influenced by um him and his work that a lot of the world in the story comes based off of things from Shakespeare. Um, for example, uh Lord Voldemort and Macbeth are two very, very similar characters that she has said in a I think one interviewer, at least more that um she kind of based his sort of power hungriness and uh willing to do anything he can to be on top kind of mentality off of Macbeth.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Sure. I find that very interesting though, because Macbeth has a conscience, and I don't feel like Voldemort does.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

Yeah, but but but rolling is a bit of a magpie. I I she she I mean, I love her, I love the Harry Potter books, but she she's taken liberally from a lot of sources. I remember when I read the very first book, and there's that opening scene where Dumbledore is, you know, like leaving Harry Potter at the doorstep of the Dirgsleys. And I and I the description of of uh of Dumbledore made me think, gee, well, I'm I'm glad to see that Gandalf has a job. But of course, but of course, Gandalf, you know, Gandalf is is based on Merlin and a little and also if you want to throw Shakespeare into it, you know, you've got Prospero from The Tempest. So so there's a there's a so rolling is borrowing from you know, I mean, obviously it's not a one-for-one, but yeah, Voldemort has a lot of Macbeth in him, and Dumbledore has a great deal of Prospero in him.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

Um and actually on that same kind of vein, Hermione from Harry Potter is uh influenced from Hermione from A Winter's Tale. Uh, just with the two strong female characters that have a lot of clout among everybody. You know, people respect her. At least I guess at least yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:13

At least they don't throw the Hermione and Harry Potter in jail and you know, make her have a baby there.

SPEAKER_03 11:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

She's a much stronger female character, I think, in terms of society in that, you know, than Hermione is in Winter's Tale.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, which I think I had actually had a little bit of this podcast idea out and before we did the Winter's Tale. And so in when we were reading it, I was kind of like, I I I see it, I can definitely see it. Um, that and the fact that she used the same name.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

So, I mean, can we back up one second, though? Because the really the important thing to ask about connecting Harry Potter and Shakespeare is what characters would you have liked to have seen Alan Rickman play in Shakespeare?

SPEAKER_02 11:58

All of them. All of them.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

I know, right?

SPEAKER_02 12:02

But seriously, I can't think of any character in anything that I wouldn't want to see Alan Rickman at least read.

SPEAKER_03 12:08

Yeah. Yeah. I'd like him to read a solid episode of Sex in the City.

SPEAKER_02 12:16

Who do you see him as?

SPEAKER_03 12:18

Oh god. I mean, I would love to hear him read a Samantha part.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Yeah, although it'd be a kick-ass Miranda.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

Yeah, he would. But also the all of the you know voiceovers that Carrie has, and all of them. All of them.

SPEAKER_02 12:33

In Alan Rickman's voice. Yes, that would that would be very interesting.

SPEAKER_03 12:36

I would love it. That would get people to watch it again. Um, oh, the only thing I had under Harry Potter was that the um another one very similar to Macbeth is that uh the story of Harry Potter really does stem from. I mean, you don't know it at first, but eventually you do find out that it stems from this prophecy that becomes this whole one cannot live while the other one survives type of idea, which um there's obviously the Macbeth prophecy that really propels a lot of that story forward. Um, and so she I believe has said a few times that a lot of the framing of the story work over like the entire world of Harry Potter came from a lot of Macbeth.

SPEAKER_02 13:18

Sure. Well, I mean, you know, I mean, not just to stray a little bit from Harry Potter, of course, another another an influence on the world of Harry Potter is Lord of the Rings, since it's since that has influenced all of fantasy. And there is an incredible Macbeth comparison in Lord of the Rings. The Witch King of Angmar, you know, tells uh Eowyn on the on the Pellinor Fields that he cannot be killed by a man, right? And she takes off her helmet and famously says, I am no man, and sticks her sword in his face, and he dies. Well, that's obviously that's that's Macbeth and Macduff, right? I mean, and and and then you have old King Theodon in The Lord of the Rings, who's clearly King Lear, who's like repudiated the children that love him and is you know senile and has and and he has the good luck of being redeemed, unlike Lear. But um shake listen, Shakespeare's fingerprints are all over like English and any any any literature written in English for the last 500 years.

SPEAKER_00 14:21

Yeah, it was uh Lion King for God's sake.

SPEAKER_03 14:24

Yeah, Lion King Hamlet. Yep. There there was like a huge list of of books and movies and authors that have really used a lot of his work to influence theirs. Um I mean it was I I found it was like a bullet. I found on some website. I mean, I had to dig, I kind of thought it would be easier to find than it was, but as I was searching, eventually I came upon just like a bullet, and I was just scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and scrolling, and so there's I mean, there's a lot. Um the the next one that I wanted to talk about, I think is probably my favorite well, my second favorite thing that I found. Um, in that just Shakespeare's strong female characters in general are all, you know, wonderful and awesome. But uh Lady Macbeth, who you have played brilliantly. She has uh a lot of similarity with Claire Underwood from House of Cards.

SPEAKER_00 15:18

I don't know who that is.

SPEAKER_03 15:20

That's okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

House of Cards is that Kevin Spacey uh Robin Wright show on Netflix.

SPEAKER_00 15:25

Oh, I like Robin Wright.

SPEAKER_02 15:27

Yeah, yeah. It's about the power hungry. I mean, obviously, Kevin Spacey had to be kicked off that show for reasons that are unfortunate. Um but yeah, there I mean, that that show is like the rise, the evil rise to power of a conniving political couple in Washington, DC. And it's there's a lot of Macbeth in it, and there's also a lot of Richard the Third in it. Yes, a role that Kevin Spacey played on stage. And you know, there's a lot of direct address to the audience, so yeah, that I mean House of Cards is is like kind of an amalgam of Richard the Third and the Scottish play.

SPEAKER_03 16:02

Plus, Claire Underwood is just she's my girl. I love her. She's awful.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

I have to confess that I kind of gave up on that show before she was the she took over as the lead.

SPEAKER_03 16:13

You know, most people that I talked to did. I mean, I definitely stuck it out, and there there is this point where they started making their own, where it didn't wasn't no longer based off of the the British TV show. And once they started doing their own thing, as shows tend to do, they kind of veer off in a direction that you know. I kind of felt like the first two seasons I could relate to because they I was it I understood, and then it got really, really political as they started going forward. And if you didn't know a whole lot about politics, you're kind of like, oh, this is interesting, I think. Um but uh but yeah, Claire underwood and Lady Macbeth, gotta love them. Movies, you mentioned The Lion King. Um we got Ten Things I Hate About You. Um West Side Story, totally Romeo and Juliet.

SPEAKER_02 17:04

Obviously.

SPEAKER_03 17:05

Big Business, which I didn't even put that together until somebody made the connection for me, and I love Big Business, but it's comedy of errors, it totally is.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

Oh, I see it. I've never seen Big Business.

SPEAKER_03 17:17

It I mean, it's just like uh it's a really fun, entertaining, quick movie, but once somebody pointed out the the similarities between the two, it was it made a lot of sense. Um plus, you know, Pat Midler and Lily Tomlin, you gotta love them.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

Right, that movie. Oh my god, you're I did see it years ago. And you know, also not a lot of people know the movie Baby's Day Out is based on Time and of Athens. I I actually I know I I just made that up, but oh sorry.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

It should all like it would be a better movie. It might be Baby's Day Out.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Um here's one you don't know about. Uh there's a there's a I don't think so. There's a movie called King of Texas from 2002, which is based on King Lear, and it has Patrick Stewart like sporting a 10-gallon hat. But it also has like Marcia Gay Harden and Roy Scheider call me David Allen Greer.

SPEAKER_03 18:27

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

So powerhouse, but it's well, and one of the one of the really interesting ones is Forbidden Planet, that old sci-fi movie from like 1960, which is The Tempest. Right with Robbie the robot as the aerial character. If we're serious, yeah that one I'm not picking up.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

And what about my own private Idaho? Gus Van Sam.

SPEAKER_03 18:52

My own private Idaho.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Yeah, a lot of Henry Fourth and Henry V.

SPEAKER_03 18:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

Um you can tell that our next that we're getting into the film Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

Oh my god, Caleb, I have spent like the lot I I have spent the last week watching Hamlet film after Hamlet film. My brain is crammed with Hamlet. With Hamlet. It's like a Kramlet situation. To be or not to be, I don't give a shit anymore.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

To not there's not like a funny Britcom one, and then it, you know.

SPEAKER_03 19:32

Something to break it up a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Yeah. But then it would be spam a lot, and that's been done.

SPEAKER_03 19:37

So we've seen it.

SPEAKER_00 19:40

Um Spam It.

SPEAKER_03 19:43

Spam it. Another thing that we have gotten from or gotten, to put the drink aside for a hot minute. Another thing that we got from Shakespeare. Um and you guys actually talk about this, I believe, in the first episode of your podcast that we'll talk about in a minute here. Um maybe it wasn't the first one, I don't remember. But the first knock-knock joke that we know of potentially came from uh as the porter, which is, I mean, who doesn't love a good knock-knock joke? That's how I knew I was funny.

SPEAKER_02 20:15

Well, and the best the best part is that it comes in the context of horrible, horrible murder.

SPEAKER_03 20:21

Yeah, yeah. I mean, the porter, he's perfect. Um so the next the next one that I wanted to talk about was my favorite connection that I made because I just loved it, it was sort of like a six degrees of Shakespeare kind of thing, except it's three. Um, but the song Don't Fear the Reaper by Blue Oyster Colt. Um, there are a few bands uh or members of Blue Oyster Colt that have said that that song really did stem from the idea of Romeo and Tula Jerome Romeo and Juliet, um, because it's about a couple that wants to be together even in the afterlife. Um so they used uh that premise and the idea of Romeo and Juliet to write a lot of the lyrics and come up with like the the feel behind the song. And so without that, we would never have received or gotten again um the more cowbell sketch from Saturday Night Live.

SPEAKER_00 21:20

So my question is, what what is it in Romeo and Juliet that um you know that brought the cowbell into it? What was the inspiration for the cowbell?

SPEAKER_02 21:34

We would I think we need Christopher Walken to answer that question.

SPEAKER_03 21:41

Oh my gosh. Um I I tried really hard to like come up with another one of those double sort of you know, six degrees of Shakespeare kind of connection, but I didn't. So sorry everyone, you'll have to come back for the next episode if I put more effort in. Um so yeah, um, and so the reason that we have Lisa Ann and Owen here is because they have, um, as I've said before, um their own podcast, the Bardcast, it's Shakespeare, you dick. Um available on, I believe, almost all literally everything.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

Yeah, pretty much every Apple, Google, Stitcher, Spotify.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

If you can listen to you have a way to listen to a podcast, it's probably on there. So that's and it's it's so much fun and it's really easy to listen to. Um and uh how long have you guys been doing it?

SPEAKER_00 22:35

We're on our seventh episode.

SPEAKER_02 22:37

Yeah, we're coming up on our seventh episode. It I I I got, I mean, basically this came out of like the COVID blues. I was I was sitting on my ass in I guess March and uh feeling sorry for myself and worrying about the future of theater and wondering if I would ever work again, which we all worry about even in the before times. And I was like, what the fuck can can I do? And I thought, what about what about starting a podcast? That's something that people do now. And I started thinking, right? It really is a grandpa. What you kids and your non podcasts? And I thought, well, what the hell do I know anything about? And I thought, well, I can talk about Shakespeare. And I thought, I'm not gonna do this by myself because fuck that. And I started to think about who would I who do who would I want to do it with? And I I immediately thought of Lisa and because we know each other so well, we've done Shakespeare together, we've talked about we, you know, we've we've altered our attitudes in various ways and talked about Shakespeare until the cows come home.

SPEAKER_00 23:47

I mean, these are basically our Skype sessions. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

Exactly. Exactly. So we talked about it and decided we decided to do it, and uh, and now here we are, only on episode seven, but we we don't intend to stop. No, please don't.

SPEAKER_03 24:05

But you do, you really do. Um and so your your very your your premier episode was Filthy Shakespeare. Indeed. Um and I when it first came out, and that's actually I texted you, I think, right out right away, Lisa Ann, saying how much I loved it, and that's actually how we started talking about Shakespeare, and then we did a winner's tale, I think, two days later.

SPEAKER_01 24:29

Right.

SPEAKER_03 24:30

Um and uh I my the the um my roommate that I'm living with right now, she asked what I was listening to, and I told her she's like, Well, what is it? I was like, I and I described it as feeling sophisticated while I was listening to Pussy, Dick, and fart jokes.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

We love that.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

Well, and that's the beauty part because like Shakespeare, like it you it can be as dirty as possible, and it's okay because it has this patina of sophistication, right?

SPEAKER_00 24:58

Shakespeare. It's Shakespeare, you dick.

SPEAKER_03 25:04

And I loved how the story came. Cool. I saw it and I said it's Shakespeare, you dick. And of course, you mean when you see that, I I immediately had to read it with the Jersey accent. It's Shakespeare, you dick.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

And then when you did it, well, that's oh that's where I mean, that's where it comes from. We talked about the title, and there's a story that Lisa Ann and I both worked for our sins years ago at the uh at the New York Renaissance fair. And I will say, at that time, this is like the the late 80s and into the mid-90s, uh, and for a long time they had they they had an equity contract, they had professional actors that they would hire to come and be in the fair, but also to be in uh a full-length production of a Shakespeare play, a different Shakespeare play every year. And they were actually pretty good. Um, and they had a theater that they called the Globe Theater, that was this little kind of not very small, certainly smaller than the actual Globe, in the middle of the woods. And the way it would happen would be this is how the story came about that of the title. You buy a ticket to the New York Renaissance Fair, and you're allowed to come in and see anything you want. And this theater had like 700 seats that people could sit in, and it would they they would fill up.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

But after it's let me preface this by saying that most of the people that came to the New York Renaissance Festival were interested in things like large turkey legs and big women's tits and corsets.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

Right.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

Just want to preface it by saying.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Yeah. So a lot of these people were not really there to see a full-length Shakespeare play. And after about a scene or so, many of them would leave, and then you know, two or three hundred people would stay, and the show would go on. So at this one performance, I believe it was of As You Like It, this was a famous story at the Renaissance Fair. There were these two biker guys, and don't ask me why, but biker guys love, they fucking love the Ren Fair.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

It's the tits and the turkey legs.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

There you go. There the tits and the turkey legs. Anyway, there's these two there's these two huge hulking biker guys, and after the first scene of As You Like It, they start edging their way out because they don't want to sit through the whole thing. And they speak to each other. Right. But they're trying to be polite, which is kind of the point of this. And the following exchange is heard between the two biker guys as they're edging their way out by all of the cast and all of the audience. Biker number one says, Hey, what was that?

SPEAKER_00 27:35

And biker number two says, What was that? It's Shakespeare, you dick.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

So everybody loses their shit. We thought that was the perfect title for our podcast.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

It's the perfect title for anything, I think, at this point. It's the crowning achievement of 2020. Um that's a low bar. That's true. Shoot, yeah, you're right. I guess that was really more of an insult. Um but uh I I I I loved it. I thought that was amazing. I had to pause because I was laughing so hard.

SPEAKER_00 28:13

Um because I will admit that we did poll our nearest and dearest. We had a we had a list of podcast titles, and we polled people, and uh we actually had a Shakespeare, you dick, and the Bardcast separately, and they basically people like them evenly, so we just put them together.

SPEAKER_03 28:32

Put them together. Why the hell not? My biggest fear with having my title be making a martini, it's either gonna be people that are coming in to learn how to make drinks, which I mean maybe, I don't know. Maybe that'll be an episode, or it'll be people. I mean, I came up with a title based on the making a murderer, that was where it came from. There was a Netflix show. So I hope people don't tune in to listen to murder podcasts because I don't know any. Um, so but titles are hard.

unknown 29:06

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 29:07

Somebody might not make it out of this show, and I don't know what'll happen. Um but uh you guys start your first episode with that story, and I think it was such just like a perfect way to draw everyone in, um, because of the fact that Shakespeare is so much dirtier than I think people will ever well, I mean, obviously they'll listen to your podcast, they'll find out. Um but people do not realize, you know, just how obscene it can be and that it really is. Um to be honest, I didn't until I listened to your podcast um when you were going over things and there were there were definite things I took away. I think my the the biggest thing that I took away, and I've gone through and and looked at a few a few things and just searched for, but when you talk about the idea of nothing and how it is, you know, nothing is another word in Shakespeare for vagina, because it is no thing. Um Right. If you don't have a thing, you have a nothing, a nothing, a vagina.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

Um and also an an o thing is another part of the pun.

SPEAKER_03 30:17

Um, and I think uh Owen, you brought it up that the title, Much Ado About Nothing, is really Much Ado About Pussy.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

That's exactly what it is. And if you think about it, pretty much all of Shakespeare's comedies could be titled Much Ado About Pussy.

SPEAKER_00 30:32

Somebody's always trying to get with somebody else.

SPEAKER_02 30:34

Yeah. And the irony, and the irony, of course, is that none of those women are are were played by women when Shakespeare wrote those plays. Right? They're all played the the the younger, the younger female characters were played by boy actors, and possibly the older female like Cleopatra might have been played by a male player who was of mature years, but also possibly and more likely by a boy.

SPEAKER_03 30:59

Yep. Um you guys do uh bring up multiple references from Romeo and Juliet. Um, and we actually even talked about it a little bit before I started recording and how you said it's pretty much just non-stop. Um and as you were going through, I was like, well, that's that's yeah, that's that's pretty much what it sounds like when it's explained. But there's a ton, there's so much in Romeo and Juliet.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

It's unbelievable. I mean, even Juliet, when Juliet's talking about Romeo, she says, is nor hand nor foot, nor arm, nor face, nor any other part belonging to a man. She's totally talking about his dick.

SPEAKER_03 31:39

Sorry. I think my episodes need more of that sound effect. I might record it and put it in later. Um, but no, you're I mean, it it goes from the beginning till the end.

SPEAKER_02 31:50

Like, I mean, yeah, I mean the the truth is the first half of Romeo and Juliet is probably bodier than the second half, uh, largely because the s the structure is such that the first half plays out almost like it's going to be a comedy until everything goes horribly wrong. Um and also the character Mercuchio dies halfway through, and he's the m the most the most body of all the characters in that show.

SPEAKER_00 32:16

Continually body, yeah. I mean, we see a lot of him.

SPEAKER_02 32:21

And it's one reason it's one reason I think why that play is so popular, and why it I mean that is a play, I mean, that it's one of the plays that hooked me of uh when I was a teenager, because it's about teenage people fighting and fucking.

SPEAKER_03 32:36

Yeah, that's what that's really what teenagers do. I mean, maybe not this year, but I mean that's teenage angst is a huge part of growing up and it's part of the teenage experience.

SPEAKER_00 32:47

Yeah, I mean the the whole first scene is Samson and Gregory just you know standing around on a hot day looking to cause some shit and talking about, you know, fucking and you know how good looking their dicks are.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Right. And rape. Let's not forget rape, rape, yeah. A little bit of rape, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Um it's you know, once you get like to like halfway through, it really does start to like, you know, everyone loosens up. We had a a really the first episode we did was um a sex themed episode because I was like, well, I'm gonna give these people what they're you know, let them know what they're in for because if they don't like that episode, they're not gonna like the rest. This is exactly why Filthy Shakespeare was our first episode. Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 33:43

Click that explicit tag. If you don't see it, that's your problem.

SPEAKER_03 33:47

That's right. Like if you get these, you know, little blue-haired ladies who are thinking they're gonna listen to this, you know, wonderful, you know, Shakespearean readings and things like that. That's not what they're getting.

SPEAKER_02 33:58

I I don't think that's the uh podcast demographic.

SPEAKER_03 34:02

For the most part. Yeah. If if they start listening to mine, I'll let you know.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

Listen, I welcome them. I just don't, you know, I just don't see it. Yeah, I think you're right.

SPEAKER_00 34:15

They might listen if someone showed them how.

SPEAKER_03 34:18

Yeah, I don't do that anymore. I'm retired from the Apple store. Uh, what else do I have here? Oh, um, this was the one you guys talked about it, and it was actually when the when the podcast started and we were talking about sort of double entanges um in Hamlet, or I'm sorry, in Shakespeare. I thought of Hamlet because there's this one very distinct memory I had. I don't remember what grade I was in, it was towards towards the end of high school. And we went to our sort of um community arts center where they had brought in a touring cast of Hamlet, and then they brought all the schools in for like a morning performance of it to see. And so, you know, it was in high school, so no one's really excited about being there. And it was very interactive, and they had like all of the actors on stage before doing a pre-show. So I mean it was it was a really, really fun performance, but they definitely came out into the audience. And a scene that you guys talked about that did you think I meant country matters? Um, I did put a little emphasis on the word cunt because that is the point. Um, they were sitting in the middle of our class that was there to see it. So they had like seats roped off, and you know, uh Ophelia came and sat down in sort of the middle all of us, and he just walked his way over and through. And so it was really kind of cool. Um, but they did the whole, you know, did you think I meant country matters whole scene in front of us, and all of us kind of looked around, and no one was really sure what to do because he made an eye gesture down to her vagina as he said it, and so we all caught that, but we didn't, we were kind of just like, I don't know if we're allowed to laugh at that or not. Yeah, you see, that's the thing though.

SPEAKER_02 36:00

That's the problem are so people are so goddamn programmed that Shakespeare is boring, that like you get kids coming, you uh you you've just described the problem in a nutshell, which which PS is also from Shakespeare in a nutshell.

SPEAKER_01 36:14

In a nutshell.

SPEAKER_02 36:15

Um, but you know, people are people think that Shakespeare is going to be boring, they think that it's gonna be all this straight-laced stuff. So you're sitting in the audience as a kid, you've been dragged kicking and screaming to see a production of Hamlet, and then suddenly there's a vagina joke, and you're like, What what? Is there something interesting or funny happening? And yes, there is. It's a sh it's a shame the way Shakespeare is taught, and it's a shame the way people are brought up to perceive Shakespeare because there's so much there. And you know, I mean, uh the way the way to a lot of people's heart, I know the way to my heart is through dick jokes. So and Shakespeare's got a ton of them.

SPEAKER_00 36:56

What we tell our students, and Owen and I have talked about this before, is if you read a Shakespeare play and you think it's dirty, it is.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

Yeah. Yeah. If you think if you even think there's something dirty going on, even mildly, you're right.

SPEAKER_00 37:13

Yeah, even mildly off-color.

SPEAKER_03 37:17

Do you think that it can work or it can be done? Because I mean, I I looked up because Romeo and Juliet was a one of the bigger ones that was talked about in the episode. Um, I was like, man, uh, and I unfortunately I realized I don't think I've ever seen a non-high school version of Romeo and Romeo and Juliet. Um, but I know it's been done. I mean, it's been done to death in high school, no pun intended. Um, but the six most done Shakespeare plays in high school are Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, Julius Caesar, Macbeth, Midsummer Night's Dream, Othello, Taming of the Shrew, and Merchant of Venice. And you guys talked about a good majority of those in the show in the in your episode. Can it work or does it work without playing up the vulgarity?

SPEAKER_00 38:01

Well, I mean, originally Shakespeare wrote his plays, his audience were the groundlings, right? They were the common people. So you have to play to your audience. You know, I mean, I think there's enough certainly in the stories and the the beauty of the language that it can work without playing up the vulgarity, but then you're leaving uh a huge piece of what this text is being.

SPEAKER_02 38:29

Yeah, I don't I don't think it's a matter of playing it up or not playing it up. I think it's just a matter of playing it honestly. You know, I mean, you're not gonna do in 2020, especially for a high school, you're unlikely to do Hamlet uncut because the motherfucker is four hours and 20 minutes long, right? Even Romeo and Juliet is a good three and a half hours if you don't cut it. And I and we know, because we've been tasked with cutting these shows. Um, and it and it can be hard because you you you you're you always lose something. But you know, if you if you if you leave the language alone to the extent that you can for time purposes and just play it honestly, you said it exactly right. The guy playing Hamlet in that in that production that you saw that came that you that that came to your high school, he just did a little take on country matters, and everybody got it.

unknown 39:22

Right.

SPEAKER_02 39:23

I mean it was minor, yeah. Like it was when you read that on a page as a as a 15-year-old, and Hamlet says, Do you think I meant country matters? You're not gonna get that joke. Right. But if you see it performed by an actor and a and and in a production that's been directed by a director that knows what he or she is doing, then sure, he's gonna do something that will let the audience know that that I mean he also says that's a fair thought to lie between maid's legs, like right in that same scene. So Hamlet is not being overly subtle, but uh but just just like that.

SPEAKER_00 39:55

But here's but here's the thing. I mean, you were lucky to you were lucky to see it, right? In school when you're reading it, you know, uh you know, and there there's something to be said. I have to get a little political here. There's something that to be said about pure botanical, you know, Americans that if you're an English teacher, you're not gonna teach that, you know, when Demetrius says and wood within this wood, he means he's getting a heart on in the middle of the forest with this beautiful girl who wants him, right? They're not gonna teach you that. Right because that's not the kind of stuff they're supposed to teach you.

SPEAKER_03 40:32

Right, that's exactly right. And so would you I mean this is such a I don't want to say devil's advocate because I agree with exactly what you're saying, but i w is it almost a disservice to teach it incorrectly, quote unquote incorrectly, than it is to teach it at all?

SPEAKER_00 40:51

I mean, I think teaching it at all is good just because the language is so beautiful, you know, the terms of phrase, the the the poetry, you know, is something that should be taught. You know, so it's kind of like better to teach it somewhat than not teach it at all. You know, but it's like, you know, better to have a president who's compassionate than one that doesn't give a shit about anybody. I mean it's it's that would be nice.

SPEAKER_02 41:20

If you if you teach these play, I mean, obviously the good news is Shakespeare is so is such a dominant figure that everybody has to encounter his works one way whether they like it or not. The the it's the the the key is to to introduce kids to Shakespeare in a way that they don't think he's boring, right? Because even like, yes, I can see the pressure on a high school or much less, you know, like a middle school teacher teaching one of these plays. Are you going to say, and kids, this means cunt? No, you're not, right? But if you teach Romeo and Juliet to a bunch of freshman high school kids and they like it, then they will have the impetus to go explore it on their own and learn for themselves, and hopefully from other teachers as they grow older, and maybe even by the experience of doing the play itself.

SPEAKER_00 42:08

And more than that, if they're interested in it, they become the audience that theater needs.

SPEAKER_02 42:14

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 42:16

Yeah. Shit. You know, it was it's funny when you were sort of talking about, you know, they obviously have to teach it in some sort of way that you can present it to be interesting. And I had this, um, I don't know if you watch 30 Rock, but I had this 30 Rock Flash. Um, Steve Buscemi is a recurring character in a few episodes, and he has to go undercover as a teacher, and he dresses as a female teacher, an English teacher. And they do these cut gags, and she's in, you know, all dressed up, and she says, All right, kids, we're gonna learn about Shakespeare. And he goes, Hmm, Shakespeare and Jay-Z don't really have anything in common. Or do they? And he plays a boombox and it starts, you know, beatboxing and then it cuts back to the story. But I mean, it's like that might be a very extreme way of teaching it. But I mean, it it's I feel like it must be really difficult because the people who go and they study and they they they learn a lot about you know the whole world of Shakespeare and the text and the dialogue and and and the euphemisms that comes with it to have to kind of I don't want to say dumb it down because you're teaching what a school board says you are allowed to, essentially.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

I I I don't see I mean I think that's great. One of the I'll I'll tell you what, this is now God, about 15 years ago or more. I saw a production of speaking of adapted Shakespeare, I saw a show in uh in a small theater in New York called The Bombody of Errors, which was uh an like four guys doing a rap version of the comedy of errors that they I mean there wasn't one word of it that was actually from Shakespeare, but it was the exact same story, all the same characters, and it was just hilarious rap from beginning to end, and it was fucking awesome.

SPEAKER_00 43:57

What was the name of the thing that we the Uh there it was a version of Midsummer Night Stream that we saw in a bar in a club it in like around late 90s, 2000.

SPEAKER_02 44:09

Oh, the Donkey Show?

SPEAKER_00 44:11

The Donkey Show.

SPEAKER_02 44:12

Yeah, the Donkey Show was a huge, huge hit. That was like a club version of Midsummer Night Stream.

SPEAKER_01 44:18

Midsommar's Dream.

SPEAKER_02 44:19

And I s listen, in the late this is I'm dating myself now, but in the in like the late 70s, I saw a production of Midsummer Night Stream that was set to disco music that John Goodman when he was young and thin was uh Oberon in, and it was great. It was a lot of dance. It was I mean it was of its time with the disco, but it worked really well.

SPEAKER_03 44:42

Um sorry, I completely I was looking down at my paper as you were saying it, and I didn't remember where I was. Um but uh I you like as I you guys cover, like I said, so many um Shakespeare plays. Are there any um Shakespeare shows or any um sort of euphemisms or filthy Shakespeare that you have now that didn't make it into the podcast episode?

SPEAKER_00 45:09

We had a ton. One that we were talking about earlier is from two gentlemen of Verona, and Lance says, Well, the best is she hath no teeth to bite.

SPEAKER_02 45:21

Yeah, think about it. Pretty transparent. Uh I think Caleb, you yourself mentioned in Othello, uh Iago refers to Othello and Desdemona as making the beast with two backs, which is it's not that filthy, but it's certainly uh body.

SPEAKER_03 45:38

Yeah, oh for sure. Um so episode one was Filthy Shakespeare, and then you guys got into Plague Shakespeare, Death by Shakespeare wasn't Shakespeare, film Shakespeare, and my personal favorite so far Assholes, douchebags, and fuck-ups. Oh my gosh, you guys. I mean, you really don't have to listen to the episodes in order. No, you don't. So you could totally start with that one because I loved it.

SPEAKER_02 46:12

We were talking about you know, we all we were always sitting around talking about topics, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 46:16

And also, these are basically just our Skype calls. Right. That's you know, that's how we get all the material. This is the kind of stuff we talk about normally.

SPEAKER_02 46:26

Right. Well, that I mean that that's like my academic career. You know, I mean, like when I I I teach at Marymount Manhattan College, and uh when when they asked me to teach script analysis at that, and and I was I asked for a description of the class, and you know, I got it, and I thought I didn't I was wise enough not to say to the head of the department, oh, so you want me to come in and talk about plays for an hour and a half, like a couple of times a week? That's what I get drunk and do for fun anyway. So sure. And that's very much like our podcast.

SPEAKER_00 47:00

Right. Oh, for all of you listeners out there, um Caleb and I know each other because I was his professor in college.

SPEAKER_03 47:08

She was. As it should be.

SPEAKER_00 47:15

Then look where we are.

SPEAKER_03 47:18

We've come so far. Um uh what can uh people expect in the future? I know you would you had mentioned me so the the film Shakespeare episode, obviously, we you guys mentioned in the episode it's such a big topic that you're gonna break it up, which I think is awesome. I love because I mean movie buff, I love coming back to it. Um, so we're gonna see more of that. Uh, are there any other topics out there that we can look forward to?

SPEAKER_00 47:44

Oh my god, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:45

Yeah, we have all of them.

SPEAKER_00 47:48

We have um we have political Shakespeare coming up uh on October 13th, right before the presidential United States presidential election. Um and then on October 30th, we have a cult Shakespeare, you know, around Halloween.

SPEAKER_02 48:04

Cool.

SPEAKER_00 48:05

Um we have ritual Shakespeare coming up on Christmas, actually.

SPEAKER_02 48:10

Did we talk about like after the election, hopefully not having to do suicide in Shakespeare?

SPEAKER_00 48:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 48:18

But but if it goes horribly wrong. If things go south, one you one or both of us may not be on that podcast.

SPEAKER_00 48:25

That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 48:28

Um this one might also not exist, so but yeah, I mean, gen I think gender gender in Shakespeare is coming up.

SPEAKER_00 48:37

Gender Shakespeare, yeah, that's uh we have racial Shakespeare, which is another huge topic.

SPEAKER_02 48:44

Huge.

SPEAKER_00 48:45

Um yeah, we're either gonna do Suicide Shakespeare or Victoria Shakespeare after the election, depending on how that goes.

SPEAKER_03 48:53

Depending on how things go. I think that's fair.

SPEAKER_00 48:56

Yeah, we're gonna do religious Shakespeare right before Easter, in between Passover and Easter. Punny Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_03 49:06

That will be my favorite episode. I can already tell. Um, well, that's amazing. I mean, you guys, the show is absolutely wonderful. It's one of the things I look forward to. And I love somehow it has always happened that I'm always at work, um, like actually in my office when I get it. So it is just such a blessing on like every other Friday to be able to shut everyone else out. It's great. Work in a public, it's a you know communal place where there's lots of desks, and some of the people are just they're lovely in case any of them are listening. Um they're people, so they sell that's right.

SPEAKER_00 49:42

Um there are some things about this pandemic that were not so terrible.

unknown 49:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:47

I am I do like reaping some benefits. Um and I I did ask you a little bit before it uh where we can find you online. You guys have a Facebook page, an Instagram page, a Twitter account, and you have a website. Um, and I'll you know, I'm probably gonna put the actual links of everything. Um, but I don't know if you guys want to plug yourselves.

SPEAKER_00 50:07

Sure, it's www.thebarredcast you dick.com. We also have a Patreon page if anybody has any extra money that they want to give us so we can do this instead of anything else.

SPEAKER_02 50:20

And we also and we also have a link to the Actors Fund, which is our our house charity that we ask people to support if they can.

SPEAKER_00 50:27

Yes, it's a hard, hard time right now for our industry.

SPEAKER_03 50:32

Yeah, that's awesome. It's so cool that you guys are doing that. Um you guys, thank you so much for doing this. I loved having you on here. Let's we'll do a follow-up.

SPEAKER_00 50:40

This is super fun. Thank you for asking.

SPEAKER_03 50:43

Oh, I couldn't not. Um, all right, you guys. Well, we will be right back. That that was a time. Those two. The two of them have the best chemistry, I swear. And that's why their podcast is so fucking good. So um I hope you learned a little bit. And if you didn't, then uh it doesn't matter because it's still listening. Their podcast is the bodcast. It shakes be a you dick. And now you know why it's called that. If you want to look them up, you can find them on Facebook and Instagram at theBardcastUDick. You can find them on Twitter at Bardcast S. And their website is theBardcastUDick.com. You can find the podcast on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio Stitcher. Just fucking look 'em up, okay? They also have two links on their website. One if you want to be a patron of the Bardcast and donate to them and help support their podcast, which everyone should, so do that. And another is for the COVID-19 emergency relief for the actors fund. Uh listen, seriously, it's a really great cause, and help support all the people out there right now who just uh just want to entertain you during these crazy times we're in. So fucking donate. Um thank you all so much again for listening. That about wraps us up, I guess. Um, and that's all's well that ends well. Throw in another Shakespeare reference. Okay, so the Richard Gimulet, it has done its job, so that's a highly recommend. Um we will see you next time on Making a Martini Up, Dry, and Straight to the Point.